Polyvagal Theory, conceptualized by Stephen Porges, delves into how our nervous system influences our ability to connect with others and respond to stress. It introduces the concept of the vagus nerve, a key component of the autonomic nervous system, which plays a pivotal role in our emotional regulation and social interaction. This theory divides the nervous system’s response into three primary states: ventral vagal (safe and social), sympathetic (fight or flight), and dorsal vagal (freeze or shutdown). Understanding these states offers a lens through which we can view our relational dynamics, particularly in how we “show up” in relationships.

When Relational Circuits Are Shut Down

When our system shifts into the sympathetic or dorsal vagal states—responses triggered by perceived threat or overwhelming stress—our capacity for connection and social engagement diminishes. This is often described as our relational circuits being “shut down.” In these states, individuals may exhibit:

Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight): Here, one might become more irritable, defensive, or aggressive in their interactions. Relationships may suffer as the focus shifts towards self-protection, leading to conflict or withdrawal from social engagement.

Dorsal Vagal State (Freeze or Shutdown): This state can manifest as disconnection, numbness, or a sense of being “checked out.” Individuals might appear distant or unresponsive in relationships, struggling to communicate or engage emotionally with others.

These responses, while part of our biological wiring to handle threat, can strain relationships, making it challenging to maintain healthy, supportive connections.

When Relational Circuits Are Online and Engaged

Conversely, when we are in the ventral vagal state, our relational circuits are considered “online,” fostering a sense of safety and openness that is conducive to connection. In this state, individuals are more likely to:

Engage Socially: Demonstrating curiosity about others, initiating and reciprocating social interactions, and expressing themselves more openly and authentically.

Regulate Emotions: Exhibiting a greater capacity for managing emotions constructively, leading to more harmonious and understanding interactions.

Show Empathy and Compassion: Being in a ventral vagal state enhances one’s ability to empathize, listen actively, and respond with compassion, strengthening relationships.

This state is marked by a sense of safety and connectedness, allowing for deeper, more meaningful interactions. It’s the foundation upon which healthy, resilient relationships are built.

Bridging Theory and Practice

In the context of Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® (NICC), these concepts are aligned with the understanding of how God designed us for connection and community. Biblical teachings often emphasize the importance of relationships, compassion, and understanding—qualities that flourish when we are in a ventral vagal state. NICC integrates these neuroscientific insights with spiritual wisdom, providing a holistic approach to fostering healthier, more Christ-centered relationships.

By recognizing and addressing the states of our nervous system, we can better navigate our emotional landscapes and relational dynamics. This not only enriches our personal growth and healing journey but also reflects the relational essence of God’s love for us and His desire for us to live in harmonious connection with others.

Re-Engage!

Re-engaging relational circuits, especially when they’ve been disrupted by sympathetic (fight or flight) or dorsal vagal (freeze or shutdown) activation, is crucial for restoring a sense of connection and well-being in our relationships. Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® (NICC) and theories such as Polyvagal provide a framework for understanding these states and offer strategies grounded in both neuroscience and biblical principles to facilitate reconnection.

Strategies for Re-Engaging Relational Circuits

Recognize and Name the State

The first step in re-engaging relational circuits is to recognize and name the state you’re in. This is akin to the biblical principle of “confession,” where acknowledging our current state can be a powerful step toward healing (James 5:16). Identifying whether you’re in a fight, flight, or freeze mode can help demystify your feelings and behaviors, making them easier to address.

Deep Breathing and Grounding Techniques

Deep breathing exercises, specifically those that emphasize slow, diaphragmatic breaths, can activate the ventral vagal system, promoting a state of calmness and safety. Grounding techniques, which involve focusing on physical sensations or engaging in mindfulness practices, can also help bring you back to a ventral vagal state, fostering readiness for connection.

Social Engagement and Safe Relationships

Engaging in safe, positive social interactions can stimulate the ventral vagal system. Seeking out trusted individuals, whether friends, family, or members of a faith community, and sharing your experiences with them can be incredibly healing. In Christian counseling, this aligns with the concept of “bearing one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2), highlighting the importance of community and connection in our healing journey.

Movement and Embodiment Practices

Physical movement, whether through exercise, walking, or even gentle stretching, can help release the tension associated with sympathetic activation. Embodiment practices, which encourage a deeper connection with one’s body, can also be beneficial, especially for those experiencing dorsal vagal freeze responses.

Engagement with Scripture and Prayer

Focusing on Scripture that emphasizes God’s presence, love, and protection can provide comfort and reassurance during times of distress. Prayer, particularly practices that involve gratitude or meditative reflection on God’s character, can serve as a powerful means of re-engaging the relational circuits by fostering a sense of safety and trust in God’s care.

Creative and Expressive Outlets

Creative expression, whether through art, writing, music, or another form, can be a therapeutic way to process emotions and experiences, facilitating a shift back to a ventral vagal state. These activities can serve as a form of worship and reflection on God’s creativity, enabling a reconnection with oneself and with God.

Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, re-engaging relational circuits requires the guidance of a professional, especially when dealing with deep-seated traumas or patterns of disconnection. NICC counselors can provide support that integrates psychological strategies with spiritual guidance, offering a holistic approach to healing.

Re-engaging relational circuits is a process that involves self-awareness, intentional practices, and often, the support of a community. By incorporating strategies that draw on both neuroscience and biblical principles, individuals can navigate back to a state of connection and openness, reflecting the relational design God intended for us.

Keep Learning!

In navigating the complexities of human relationships and emotional well-being, the intertwining principles of Polyvagal Theory and Christian faith offer a transformative path from disconnection to deep, meaningful connections.

This journey underscores the importance of understanding our neurological responses and leveraging them alongside spiritual wisdom to foster environments where relationships can flourish. For those intrigued by the prospect of enhancing their emotional and relational health through the lens of both neuroscience and spirituality, exploring Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® and Neuroscience Informed Relational Discipleship can provide valuable insights and tools.

These approaches not only illuminate pathways to healing and thriving within our communities but also deepen our understanding of how we are wonderfully made to connect, love, and live fully.

To learn more about how these innovative frameworks can impact your life and relationships, we invite you to delve deeper into the world of Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® and Relational Discipleship, where science and faith converge to guide us toward holistic well-being.

REFERENCES

1. Unlocking Holistic Ministry: Embrace Neuroscience Informed Relational Discipleship