At the very foundation of existence is relationship. According to Christian belief, God, the creator of the universe, exists eternally in relationship within Himself — the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Humanity, created in God’s image, shares this inherently relational nature. We are not solitary beings; we thrive in connection with others.
Decades of scientific research support this, with perhaps the most compelling evidence coming from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running longitudinal study of human well-being. It suggests that the greatest predictor of health and happiness is living in the context of high-quality relationships. Moreover, a study by Gallup found that people who fall into the “thriving” category spend about 6-9 hours a day engaging socially. These interactions span both strong ties (close friends and family) and weak ties (colleagues, acquaintances, and even strangers).
The formula for happiness is surprisingly simple: Faith + Friends + Finances = The Good Life.
Being a part of a faith community and practicing spirituality in alignment with personal convictions correlates with better health and happiness outcomes. Faith provides a sense of purpose, moral support, and often a community of like-minded individuals who provide emotional and spiritual upliftment.
Spending 6-9 hours a day interacting with others is a key indicator of happiness. Strong social ties include close friends and family, but even interactions with weak ties — like a friendly chat with a neighbor or cashier — contribute to our overall well-being. Our happiness is deeply intertwined with the quality and frequency of our social interactions, regardless of how casual or intimate they may be.
Financial stability matters — but only up to a point. Achieving a stable income of around $75,000 – $80,000 in household earnings is the threshold for financial comfort, where basic needs are met, and money is no longer a stressor. While additional wealth can improve self-evaluation of one’s life, it does not necessarily equate to increased happiness. For instance, lottery winners typically return to their original level of happiness within a year of their win. Beyond financial stability, it’s about faith and friends, not more funds.
It turns out that social fitness is just as vital as physical fitness. Loneliness has been found to be twice as unhealthy as obesity. Studies indicate that individuals with strong relationships have a 50% greater chance of surviving anything that comes their way.
Warm, connected relationships are key to happiness. The quality of our relationships at age 50 can predict our health and well-being at age 80. Social connectedness during adolescence is a better predictor of adult success than any other single factor.
Humans often struggle with “affective forecasting” — our ability to predict what will make us happy. We might avoid talking to strangers or casual acquaintances, assuming it will be uncomfortable or awkward, but research shows that such interactions actually boost our happiness.
Conversely, comparing ourselves to others often leads to discontent. Even positive comparisons, where we judge ourselves favorably, can be a source of unhappiness. Greed, envy, and discontent can arise from this habit, creating unrealistic benchmarks that do not reflect our individual path or needs. Comparison often makes us feel “off-time,” meaning we’re not hitting expected life milestones, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Our social life functions as a living system, dynamically affecting our minds and bodies. Honest self-reflection is a critical first step in living a good life. Relationships impact the mind, which in turn affects the body, and vice versa. Therefore, just like our muscles need exercise, our social lives also need regular “workouts” to stay fit.
Loneliness negatively impacts mental and physical health, causing heightened sensitivity to pain, suppression of immune responses, and disruption of sleep. It also has a tangible effect on productivity at work, increasing absenteeism and turnover. In fact, loneliness is associated with a 26% increased risk of death in any given year.
Two main predictors of happiness are the frequency and quality of our social interactions. The quality of a relationship is determined by how it makes us feel: Is it energizing or depleting? How often do we experience these feelings?
Relationship satisfaction varies among individuals, based on the kind of relational contact one desires versus what they actually experience. This is not a one-size-fits-all situation — different people have different needs.
To understand where your relational strengths and weaknesses lie, consider mapping your social universe. Relationships fall into several categories:
“You can’t make old friends.” This adage holds true — the length of a friendship contributes to its strength and intimacy.
If you aim to live the good life, there are three key pillars:
“Skin hunger” is a real phenomenon, referring to the need for human touch. There is no replacement for the warmth of physical contact, which helps fulfill our social needs.
Regarding social media, it’s important to consider how you use it. Engaging with others positively can enhance well-being, while passive observation or unhealthy comparison can diminish it. The key question is: Do you feel better or worse after spending time on social media?
In the end, it’s within relationships that we find the ingredients to the good life. The happiest and healthiest among us are those who cultivate the best relationships. He who has the best relationships truly wins in life.
Healthy people seek help and accept help. To grow into maturity is to embrace vulnerability — to be alive is to be open to others.
Underdeveloped friendships can place undue pressure on romantic relationships or spouses. It is essential to have a variety of social connections to distribute the different emotional and practical needs we have.
Not all friendships carry the same level of intimacy, and it is helpful to understand the varying degrees of friendships:
In a world often obsessed with achievement and material success, it’s refreshing to remember that the keys to a good life are surprisingly accessible. Faith, friendships, and financial stability lay the groundwork for happiness and health. Cultivating meaningful connections, spending time engaging socially, and living in alignment with one’s values — that’s the formula for thriving.
To live well is to love well — to build and maintain high-quality relationships that nurture our emotional, physical, and spiritual selves. The good life is not found in possessions, power, or prestige, but in the warm and enduring bonds we share with those around us. So, cherish your friendships, invest in your communities, and live fully in your faith and values. That is the path to true happiness and the good life.
In a world that can often feel disconnected, building meaningful relationships is key to living a truly good life. If you find yourself struggling with friendships, battling loneliness, or feeling unsure about how to form lasting connections, you don’t have to walk this path alone. At MyCounselor.Online, our Christian counselors are here to help you understand the challenges you’re facing, overcome the obstacles, and build the skills needed for strong, life-giving friendships. Reach out today to start your journey toward deeper connections and a happier, healthier life.
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